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"Technology is great, but a girl's got to have friends." Karen Leland, co-author of Watercooler Wisdom: How Smart People Prosper in the Face of Conflict, Pressure and Change |
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Life/Work Balance Blog NATIONAL "DO-OVER" DAY The last few weeks in December (the procrastinators among us hold off right up until December 31 or even beyond) is the time when most people sit down to formulate their New Year's resolutions. I think the reason this end-of-year activity is so popular is that we are a nation that loves the "do-over." We fancy the idea that in one relatively short time span (a week, a day), we can raise the magic wand of declaration, erase the past year's mistakes and missed opportunities, and make a fresh start. It's the kind of feeling we get from putting on a clean white shirt, or opening a new box of Kleenex, or unwrapping an unused sponge for the sink and throwing away the grimy old one. In December I reflected (in between holiday shopping, cooking, planning and partying) on my resolutions for 2007 and my goals for 2008. I sat down to review the goals I had set for myself with such good cheer and optimism in that first week of January, a mere twelve months ago. Perhaps it's 25-plus years as a management consultant, or all that time I have spent leading time management courses, or just my natural obsessively organized personality, but I always write down my goals and list them under subheadings by category (body/health, marriage, finance, family, creativity, etc.). The interesting thing is that the goals from the current year often bear a striking similarity to the goals from the previous one. The same desires appear year after year, like flowers that bloom every spring from long-dormant bulbs. They have been hibernating, storing energy, and every year around this time they are ready to spring forth with a fresh bunch of flowers, yet they are still part of the same old plant. Among other things, my yearly blooms always seem to include fitness, money and love. Doesn't everyone's? The fact that each fresh crop of resolutions is a slight variation on the same theme does not stop me from making them. I keep coming back for more. Looking back, 2007 was actually a pretty good year. I achieved, if not all my goals, enough progress on them to make me feel like a productive member of my own life. I did close that book deal, re-do that driveway, start that exercise program and spice up my sex life. As for the goals that I did not achieve in 2007, I have come to realize that some (i.e., run a marathon) were just good ideas, never meant to move beyond the page to the real world of action. To others, I gave my best shot (lose 20 pounds) and fell short (I lost 14). But on December 31, I declared a do-over, wiped the slate clean and started again, bringing a fresh perspective and enthusiasm to my "new" goals, even if they happen to look an awful lot like the old ones.
To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Balance" in the sujbect line. . . . . . . . . . . A GIRL'S GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS My morning starts out well enough until the doorbell rings. It's the contractor, ready to discuss the driveway. This would be the same driveway his guys have hacked up over the past few days, only to discover that all was not as it had seemed on the surface. "Oh, by the way," he says. "We accidentally demolished just a bit of the wrong section." Well, these things do happen. Instantly I know that my carefully conceived morning, which included arriving early to my creative writing class in Berkeley so I could get a good seat, even stopping for a Starbucks along the way, is now as demolished as my driveway. After an hour of conversation peppered with such phrases as "concrete retaining wall," "rebar reinforcements," "structural integrity" and "I'm sorry," finally a solution surfaces. Now I'm late. Forget the coffee. I will be lucky to get there before the class starts. Murphy's law in action: Halfway across the Richmond/San Rafael Bridge, I realize that in my morning madness I have forgotten the driving directions. I start running a list in my head of all my options. Should I turn around and go home? No, that will eat up too much time. OK, first obvious choice: Call information, get the phone number of the place, and ask for the address and directions. If they don't answer, just get the address and stop at a gas station and look at a map. Good plan, except after three tries, information can't find the location. On the fourth try they do, and I get an answering machine. Undaunted, I think, Maybe there's an Internet café around here where I could Google it. But then I realize I could spend hours looking for an Internet café in an area of town I don't know. Alternatively, I could go into a coffee shop and beg someone to let me use his or her computer – no, too much risk of being arrested. Finally, in my desperation, I call my best friend, Liza, from my cell phone. Ring, ring. "Hello?" "Liza, this is Karen. I'm sorry to call so early on a Saturday, and I'm sorry I'm so lame, but I need your help." Liza – a true friend and great human being – laughs. "What do you need?" she asks. I explain my predicament and ask her if she can please Google the place where I am going, get an address, then MapQuest it and read the directions to me over the phone. "Sure," she says, "but I have to find my glasses first." Finally I'm on the road and on track once again. Through some miracle I actually arrive 10 minutes before the class begins (in fact, I'm the first one there). I even have time to walk down to the corner coffee joint and have a cup of decaf. Clearly, my overplaying personality has its advantages. Our first assignment in the class is to write a short piece about technology and its impact on our lives. Hmmm. I consider my morning madness and write down the one sentence that I think sums it all up: "Technology is great, but a girl's got to have friends." Karen Leland is co-author of Watercooler Wisdom: How Smart People Prosper in the Face of Conflict, Pressure and Change (New Harbinger Publications, 2006). She can be reached at kleland@scgtraining.com. Visit scgtraining.com for more. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Balance" in the sujbect line. |
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