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"I am who I am – a business-savvy leader who happens to love people and understands the magic that happens when you get to know each person, their strengths and passions, and then engage them in the business so that they get to do what they love doing.'" |
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Blogs from the Corner Office – Best Buy SMART, ACCOMPLISHED, PROFESSIONAL … BUT "WHAT'S WITH THE HUGS?" Posted on July 7, 2008
I did a media interview a few months back, and the reporter asked me a question that's had me scratching my head ever since. She wanted to know how a driven businesswoman focused on business results can always be seen giving people hugs. She wanted to know how I rationalize that paradox.
Paradox? Hmmm ….
I guess I'd never thought of it this way. I was curious and stumped over the question in general. Why was it a paradox to be myself – a savvy business professional who loves people? When I see people I adore inside and outside the business, my heart warms, my eyes light up, and the first thing I want to do is give them a wonderful energy-filled hug as a greeting or as a goodbye-for-now to a colleague and friend. For those I have known and with whom I have shared so many wonderful memories, I am delighted to then follow up that hug with a kiss on each cheek, a common custom in many cultures. In many cases, these are people I have worked with in the past on some business project or another. After all, based on my experience, great businesses succeed because of great people who enjoy each other and partner together, respecting each colleague's unique attributes and leveraging those characteristics and talents to build amazing outcomes for all involved. It's truly all about people! And people are emotional. Yes, women and men are emotional. And I haven't found one yet that doesn't like a hug once in a while from someone they enjoy and respect.
Why would she even ask me this question? I started to think of my male colleagues who are amazing, successful, driven leaders – full of charisma and warmth. They also hug colleagues with whom they have built great relationships. Yet I had never heard Brad, Brian, Shawn, Dean or any of the others being asked the question, "What's with the hugs?"
So my question is, Is she asking me this question because I am a woman, and she's falling into a stereotype about women leaders? In situations where these stereotypes are the accepted way of doing business, either you would have to give up your femininity and act and dress and talk "shop talk" as if you were a guy, or you would be seen as a "hugger," which apparently means you have no business savvy, experience, business reinvention, innovation or, heaven forbid, any profit and loss management expertise.
Because of the stigma and stereotypes like this, many women I know have discarded almost everything female about themselves long before getting to the executive suite. I often have looked to see if I somehow missed the blinking neon sign hanging at the entrance of the executive offices: "Insert heart and all emotion in the valet lockbox before entering." In many cases, I struggle to find one womanly element left in these leaders.
Even more tragic is that I don't believe they even realize how much of themselves they have allowed to be chipped away and dissolved over the years by trying to fit into the club of boys. I did it, too, for a while – unknowingly. I grew up with two brothers who loved giving noogies, tearing car "cookies" in gravel on Main Street, and hosting mudball wars with me as the target. I knew all the moves to be a good defensive lineman. (Me? Yes!) Thankfully, I tossed on my black patent Cole Haan Nike Air heels and ran back to my authentic feminine Coco Chanel–smelling self as fast as I could – a self that loves getting my nails and hair done and the feeling of putting on a new smashing dress with a new pair of fierce heels. A self that loves hitting the town for an evening of great dining and dancing, all the while looking and feeling feminine and fabulous. And I know well how to build a new business idea into a large new business –with people at the center of it all.
So it is not one or the other (business savvy or hugs), but instead just being authentic – including hugs and all that I cherish about leaders I meet, male or female. And it is that love of people combined with the skills of creating and building new business models, and driving innovations and organic growth, that makes all the difference.
So, to the reporter, I responded, "Well, I don't exactly understand your question, because I am who I am – a business-savvy leader who happens to love people and understands the magic that happens when you get to know each person, their strengths and passions, and then engage them in the business so that they get to do what they love doing. Those who love their jobs, after all, bring even more passion, networks of people and innovative ideas to their work. Then they help build an amazing movement of business outcomes with financial results never achieved before and benefiting everyone. Any more questions on the hugs?
Julie Gilbert is senior vice president of Winning with Women, the Women's Leadership Forum (WOLF), and retail training and leadership development at Best Buy. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Best Buy" in the subject line. COMMENTS Julie, I love that story … I notice more and more that hugs are replacing handshakes … and I love it. One thing that made me stop and think was your comment about male leaders giving hugs (and I get your point about the gender difference as a possibility for the reporter asking the question of you.) What caused me to ponder was that, in my experience men hug in a different way … many times it's the "football butt pat" (to male colleagues) or the big "surround you pat the back" hug (more often to female colleagues) or the "arm around the shoulder" (to either male or female colleagues) … somehow women HUG the similarly no matter the gender … most of the time. Interesting! And I think that women are responsible for advancing the hug to a new level … acceptable in the work place. Putting the touch back in our interactions is moving our relationships to a more personal level that will allow us all to see each other more as people than competitors – in the work place, especially. As more of us adopt "abundance thinking" as opposed to "scarcity thinking" the world will move in a different direction … I'm very excited to consider that possibility. And, I thank you, Julie for your role in shifting the focus from how we can hide from each other to how we can celebrate each other – you are a model of that behavior. Irene . . . Comment Women for Women: I recently did an internal blog noting that "diversity was making some headway" due to a change in my reporting structure that had my direct manager as a women, her boss and my boss's boss (up to the CIO). After the CIO there are still 2 positions to the top held by men. I mentioned that it was encouraging to see diversity starting to occur in high technology. This has unintentionally sparked a heated debate about what is diversity. I was shocked by the amount of angry males commenting and the lack of females stepping into the conversation. It appears that adding that many women together in a reporting structure and calling it more diverse than the historical view, sparks a lot of men calling foul. I noted in some of my comments back that I would be happy if there were African-Americans, gays, lesbians etc., - something that changed the "view" to the top. I am beginning to question if efforts like you describe (Women's Leadership efforts at Best Buy) can really succeed with this underlying anger in organizations. Thoughts? Laurie . . . . . . . . . .
GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S PURSE … TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED Posted on June 6, 2008
I was almost ready to attend The White House Project EPIC Awards, where I was going to be recognized for their "Circle of 10" honor, something I never in my life dreamed possible. The last item I needed before I ran out the door was a purse to match my dress. When I opened my purse drawer, one holding special energy revealed itself – a purse given to me by my grandmother, Evelyn, that had been handed down to her. What a perfect moment to honor her. I instantly realized that this was another one of those "meant to be" moments in my life. I couldn't think of a better way to honor all women with something as personal as my grandmother's purse – carrying everything deeply meaningful to her, yet so small in size.
As I put my credit card, license, cell phone, BlackBerry and, of course, a special tube of lip gloss into the purse, many thoughts streamed through my heart and mind. First, I had a moment of humor when I realized that never before had these items been included in this purse (which dates back to the early 1900s.) A more serious and solemn realization came over me as I thought of the event I was about to attend, its relevancy to women, and what it would have meant to my grandmother had she been able to be there – what it would have meant to her and to all the other women of those times. They sacrificed so much of themselves – namely their dreams, passions and life goals, all in the name of others. And in many cases, their dreams could not have been possible given the culture and, in many cases, laws of the time.
What flashed in my mind were "given" things for women today: our rights to vote, attend and graduate from college, obtain a driver's license, say "no, thank you" to a marriage proposal to someone who is not your soulmate, decide how many children you will bear – or even take a Friday afternoon walk into a local tavern, park yourself on a barstool and enjoy an icy cocktail to celebrate a great week. And this doesn't even begin to touch on desires to start companies or pursue careers inside the nation's biggest companies. Heaven forbid she would want to attend or even play a sporting event, wear a red dress, take a sip of a great heritage scotch in a tavern or even utter a swear word under her breath! Sorry, lady, you are not welcome here! My amazing purse owner checked her dreams at the door of possibilities (as did the other women) in the name of "woman's duty" and what was culturally acceptable for them.
The White House Project "Circle of 10" honor was an amazing recognition to me and to all the other "WOLVES" who made this dream possible – giving voices, skills, networks and possibilities to women. Giving them all that could be possible, all the "never before" things – all in the name of empowering and enabling women's leadership, breaking down stereotypes, and creating a stage and path for so many more girls and women to ease into today and in the future.
As I stepped into the Museum of Natural History, the energy, importance of the award and the responsibility of what more is required of me became clear. All of the women I met, their unique stories, their passion and risk-taking to make a change, were astounding. I sat quietly with humility, and also the deep feeling of "I must do more," as the other recipients accepted their awards, including Leymah Gbowee, for her role in Liberia to stop the bloodshed and war by mobilizing over 2,000 women and motivating them to sit on airfields to prevent planes from taking off to harm others (inspiring the movie Pray the Devil Back to Hell).
The responsibility of that purse left me with a heavy heart – a heart weighed down with responsibility. It gave me such humility and made me realize how much more we need to accomplish in the name of women, girls, business and opportunities. This purse was actually symbolic of what could be done once we all partner together as women, support each other each day and unlock the latchet of the purse of possibilities. Ensure that in 10 years, no one can write about women being stereotyped as "not having the total package" in business or not deserving their pay when they have more education, experience, moxie and credentials than their peers.
We need to partner and support each other to enable women to freely celebrate having children on their own if they choose (without the hallway gossip over who or why), to buy and drive the most amazing sports car available, to stay out all night dancing if they want and to hold equal power in all levels of government. We need a woman presidential candidate who is accepted on equal terms, when hairstyles, looks and mood do not become media buzz. And all this should happen while women celebrate their femininity and the privilege of being soft, supportive, curvaceous and beautiful women. This much I owe my grandmother. I am honored to carry her purse and hopefully unlock the beautiful garnet latchet of possibilities for so many others. Julie Gilbert is senior vice president of Winning with Women, the Women's Leadership Forum (WOLF), and retail training and leadership development at Best Buy. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Best Buy" in the subject line. . . . . . . . . . . I CAN'T DO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME? Work was going great! I had just pulled together a cross-functional team to meet in St. Louis to reinvent a key strategy for the company. I had executive partners all signed up to be sponsors, and we'd just picked a key date three weeks out to kick off the strategy with the team. I invited everyone so they could make their travel arrangements. Woohoo! I was so excited, and so was everyone else. The next day, I opened my e-mail and there was an invitation from our chief operating officer to join him with other officers at the amazing Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in New York City. Just as I was getting ready to celebrate, I realized the date of the event was exactly the same date as the kickoff meeting in St. Louis. Ugh! Immediately I scrambled to work the airlines to see if there was any way I could hit the event and then fly an all-nighter to St. Louis. No flights like that existed. I was completely bummed. So I quickly settled my excitement over the invitation and realized I would not be attending the event. A few days later, I was talking to my good friend and colleague about the St. Louis strategy kickoff. Unexpectedly he mentioned he had gotten invited to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony too. I responded, "Yeah, me too. But we can't go, Shawn. We have all the teams coming to St. Louis for our kickoff." Shawn quickly responded, "What?! Julie, we are going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!" I took him through the tirade of "We already committed and I checked all the flights and it's impossible." I was completely surprised when he calmly cut me off and told me that by not going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event, I was disrespecting our COO's invitation and that I was missing the opportunity to get different leaders to step up in St. Louis. I was stumped and completely agreed. I couldn't believe that I'd never thought of it that way. I had been so busy thinking about my responsibility to the work and to the team that I was blind to the responsibility of representing the company and my perspective by networking. I've thought about this a lot, and after discussing it with other men and women, I've found that 99 percent of other women would have thought of this in the same way I initially did, and 99 percent of men would have thought of it just like my partner Shawn did. When I started to dig into why, it was clear to me that this is one of the cultural differences between men and women – and one more reason why women are not reaching the same heights as men at the same rate. Women perceive networking, in general, as a nice-to-do as opposed to a strategic must-do. Events like the one at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame help you bond with others, let your hair down (professionally) and build relationships – relationships with people who can learn what you bring to the table personally and professionally, ask for your insight (because they actually know better about what you can offer) and even think about you for whatever the next new business opportunity might be. The most puzzling thing about my first (and automatic) reaction was that I didn't even think twice about my "must go to St. Louis" position as the only option once the airfare options dried up. That's the mindset coming from me – someone who isn't a wallflower at all and actually loves networking (let alone empowering others to be stronger leaders). I love building relationships and linking with others to build new business together. Yet I fell into the trap myself. Ladies, be very aware of our tendency toward responsibility to "get the job done" vs. taking the time to network. Just because it's fun doesn't mean it's not business. It's no different for a golfing outing, boating dinner cruise, charity event or a great black tie affair like this one. Go! Go! And go! It is your responsibility to go!
Julie Gilbert is senior vice president of Winning with Women, the Women's Leadership Forum (WOLF), and retail training and leadership development at Best Buy. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Best Buy" in the subject line. . . . . . . . . . . BALANCE: AN EVERDAY BATTLE
"How do I balance it all?" asked Leanne. "I am at the crux of my future in law school – the top of my class, working for an amazing judge, and yet I am not sure how to balance it all if I want it all." Well, guess who Leanne is? Only one of the most polished, educated, articulate and promising law students I had ever met. Working in a courtroom on Constitution Hill in Johannesburg, South Africa, she is one of those who I believe could chart her course as a Supreme Court Justice or a top attorney on any continent. And why should she be concerned? The future is truly hers; she should be able to make it what she wants it to be.
I can't even quantify how many people ask about how to balance career, family, warmth – not to mention the addition of your own passion, self and feminine being.
Well, I'm convinced that there is no silver bullet. No simple answer. No easy way to break it all down. You know exactly what I'm talking about – hanging on a cell phone call after you get home and having your spouse's or partner's heart sink when you tell him in three different hand gestures when this call will end, or checking your e-mail during a vacation with someone special. You're cringing, aren't you? Let me guess: You've lodged each of these incidents in that black box in your heart and mind of regret (at least that's what I've done). Maybe you've even lost something – or worse, someone – because of an unbalanced decision. Ouch.
The solution, for me, is threefold:
(1.) Clearly determine what is most important in your life, in rank order. For me, it's spirituality, health, family and career, in that order. Without spirituality, my reason for being is meaningless, I lack grounding and life seems to blow in the wind. Without my health (including exercise), I lose energy, confidence and willingness to take it all on, not to mention joy and my warmth with others. Without my family, I lose my sense of being loved and loving back. The funny thing is that if I have all of the first three in check, the fourth just happens. And it happens because I am as healthy (both emotionally and physically), happy and energetic as I could possibly be, which comes through without my even saying anything. (I know you might be thinking that some of this sounds very much like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, clicking her red sequined heels three times. Wahoo. We might as well pick some daisies and put them in a nice vase and bake some warm chocolate chip cookies. Don't think I don't know what you're thinking! Keep reading ….)
(2.) Realize that balance requires daily management. Sometimes, staying for that 5:30 p.m. meeting simply has to happen. But don't do that every day. Maybe you politely decline to participate, or have a colleague participate on your behalf, or even make yourself available by phone. And when you have to make tough sacrifices, make sure you don't forego other priorities in place of the decision. Some days, you might have to get it all done in small tidbits, like little Hershey's Kisses (and each one is oh so good!). It's a balancing act – and it's up to you to make it happen.
(3.) Implement an insurance policy, a close network of people from different parts of life (career, spiritual, fitness, career, etc.) who know you well and who will hold you accountable if they sense you are getting lost in the treadmill of it all. I'm betting they'll be delighted to help you!
So, back to Leann. My advice to her: "Shoot for the stars, girl. You can have it all and you deserve it all. However, know that it can never be all one over the others. It is a daily project and it requires discipline and give and take."
Unfortunately, it's like losing weight. You might want to lose 20 pounds, but then rationalize how much you deserve a slice of carrot cake every time you see one. And how does that grand plan work out in losing the weight? Need I say more? Go for it! Julie Gilbert is senior vice president of Winning with Women, the Women's Leadership Forum (WOLF), and retail training and leadership development at Best Buy. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Best Buy" in the subject line. COMMENTS Julie, I am glad you are doing well at Best Buy, because it is a very successful company. I am glad you were listed in Pink. I have desired (for a long time) to address issues regarding Best Buy. Best Buy is a great store, however, it never has the appropriate stock of items, and the lines are long. The "best' thing about "Best Buy," is actually the staff. They are always polite, friendly, and willing to help. Lines are long, and you can never find what you need by yourself. . . . . . . . . . . WOMEN FOR WOMEN What can we accomplish in the world as women? I truly believe that if we reach out deliberately to each other as women – instead of directly or indirectly competing against each other – link our talents and passions, genuinely and authentically support each other, and carve out spaces to get each other in the big discussions in equal numbers to men, we'll have the ability to make change happen. Growing up with two brothers and parents who encouraged me to get my education and then pursue whatever I put my heart, mind and a lot of work ethic behind, I've felt supported from the beginning. I believe that much of my success – my undergraduate degree, my master's degree, my CPA and my entrepreneurial spirit – can be attributed to a core belief that my dreams matter. The key in all this was at least one person at the right level made me feel supported to pursue my goals – giving me the validation that I, as a woman, did bring a powerful and unique voice to the table of business. And, I mattered! But what about those who haven't felt supported or who just don't realize their abilities to single-handedly make change happen? Those who haven't been encouraged to pursue their dreams? During a visit to one of our Best Buy stores a few years ago, a retail employee greeted me with a hug instead of a handshake. When I asked why, she replied, "It's so good to see a woman executive. I feel like women don't fit into the corporate world." This inspired me to change the opportunities for women – inside and outside of Best Buy. It was then that I decided the rest of my career would be dedicated to inspiring individuals to believe in themselves and become something they never dreamed possible. I created a movement called WOLF. WOLF (Women's Leadership Forum) is in full swing at Best Buy. By the end of this year, it's expected to impact more than 20,000 Best Buy employees (women and men). Through the three pillars on which WOLF is founded (commitment, networking and giving back to communities), WOLF helps Best Buy's female employees navigate the corporate retail landscape and become stronger leaders. WOLF tackles tough business issues like retention, recruiting and building new business opportunities to serve women customers and employees globally. Those involved in WOLF brainstorm new business strategies, research and propose ideas, and link their networks for new products, services and businesses appealing to women. And the amazing thing is … all these benefit not only women, but also men and children as well. WOLF is also extending beyond Best Buy to help unleash the leadership potential of women throughout the world. There's no better time than today for a focus on women's leadership. Women now dominate economic spending in most industries including those previously dominated by men's spending (medical, automotive, consumer electronics, consumer products and even beer!). In spite of this, women hold only 14 of the Top 500 CEO positions and are far from representing 50 percent of the voice in business and politics. We must start incorporating the female lens in the decision-making process for all facets of business, in politics and in solving the challenges that face communities, nations and continents. Women approach situations differently, have different physiological and psychological composition, and now have the pocketbooks and purchasing influence to rival those historically held by men. Women are just different, providing unique perspectives in all areas and discussions. And the companies and countries that harness this powerful asset will win. So my challenge is this: If women reach out to girls and women of all ages and move forward together, we have the ability to make amazing things happen in each other's lives and to change the economic dynamics for women and girls around the world. I do believe this is possible. And I know that my fellow PINK readers must feel the same way! Julie Gilbert is senior vice president of Winning with Women, the Women's Leadership Forum (WOLF), and retail training and leadership development at Best Buy. To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Best Buy" in the subject line. |
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