Wake Up Inspired Blog
By Marian Baker

FINDING A PATH TO CONFIDENCE

Posted on September X, 2008

In a recent session, Jessica said she wanted to work on achieving her new goals at work. In our previous discussion, we had boosted her ability to create a new marketing plan. She and her boss were happy with this, and now she was a bit nervous about being out there actually doing it. When we explored what she needed to keep making progress and feeling fulfilled, "confidence" came as the key ingredient. That one-word reply is a common theme for Jessica. It makes perfect sense. However, she already knew this and didn't know how to get confidence.

So, I asked her to pretend the vocabulary word "confidence" didn't exist. "Take a breath and reflect on other ways you'd describe what would have you feeling more at peace with being able to do your job and achieve your goals. Take your time." Now, a new list flowed out of Jessica: Knowledge, experience, being relaxed (when meeting new people), trust in myself that I know what I'm talking about, feeling like I'm meeting the right people at the right time, saying the right things.

I smiled widely, feeling delighted that now we actually have a menu of things that are strategically doable, that we could coach around. (See how this opens up new pathways better than just, "I need to feel more confident"?) We could brainstorm about each menu item and find ways of working on each to help her grow and succeed. I asked Jessica if there was a "lead domino" in her list. Knowledge came first. We were able to identify ways that she could gain knowledge, starting with small steps, a deadline and accountability support.

It can be (paradoxically) deflating to keep telling yourself, "Be more confident." Sort of like someone telling you, "Don't think of ice cream," and that's all you can think about.

Coaching Tool for You to Try:

The key insight to share from this coaching tale is how to find pathways toward beneficial insights, leading to real progress. You can coach yourself with this! Imagine there's no vocabulary word for XXX – something that you wish for or need. Take time to reflect on other ways of expressing it. Or list the sub-ingredients of your desired X. I hope you'll find that this opens up new ways of exploring and making progress toward whatever you want to build for your inspired success. You could take yourself out to a café for a self-coaching meeting and write your thoughts out. Or find a buddy and support each other with this process. We'd love to hear your examples, so share a comment that will help the rest of our PINK community.

Quick Sips of Inspiration:

"Rather than be always striving for personal happiness, try to make others happy. In being of spiritual, mental and material service to others, you will find your own needs fulfilled. As you forget self in service to others, you will find that, without seeking it, your own cup of happiness will be full."

Paramhansa Yogananda, from Praecepta Lessons, 1935

"The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."

William James

Be well, be inspired,

Marian

(Names and details are changed to honor client confidentiality.)

Named one of 50 top coaches in America, Marian Baker is author of the award-winning book Wake Up Inspired: Fuel Healthier Success and Love the Life You're Meant to Lead. Visit WakeUpInspired.com for resources for healthy, meaningful success. Marian@WakeUpInspired.com

To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Inpsiration Blog" in the sujbect line.

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THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS
Posted on June 25, 2008

"Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours before me. I vow to live fully each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion."

Thich Nhat Hanh

On one hand, we could say I had a terrible accident – smashing my face and head into the street upon hitting a rock while zooming downhill on a kid's scooter, resulting in two ambulance rides to two hospitals. There are medical facts including "significant multiple skull fractures, hematoma and cranial third nerve palsy, slight hearing and vision loss." My husband said the right side of my face was swollen, my eye drooped way down, and I was scarred up like a horror movie. I've healed a lot in 14 days. My right eye is still shut. The nerve is still palsied, and they tell me it may take six months for the eye to open. The doctors say it's possible it won't revive (I know it will). I need to find a cool patch to wear. Could be a fun thing for speaking engagements coming up! I've worn sunglasses for client meetings and have a fundraiser dinner that's Hollywood-themed – so glam sunglasses will be perfect.

I believe everything happens for a reason, including the accident. This whole experience has increased my interest and ability to deepen my learning and teach others about inspired leadership, feminine energy, better lives, enthusiasm about the future and what we need to do to help each other create a joyful world.

This morning's meditation began at 5:30 a.m. This is becoming a new habit since leaving the hospital. What's really exciting is the spiritual journey of this experience. I've been meditating more consistently and deeply, reading, journaling and being guided by St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, Therese of Lisieux, Babaji (an Indian master saint for Paramhansa Yogananda and others and a teacher of Kriya Yoga), Divine Mother, Kuan Yin (East Asian Buddhist goddess of compassion, sacred feminine), Gandhi and Eknath Easwaran (easwaran.org/page/188). All of this is part of Divine Order, and wonderful insights are brewing. I have no memory of the scooter, ambulances or some of the four days I spent in the hospital intensive care unit. Who knows what parts of my consciousness may have been newly activated – an intriguing thought. The right side physically shut down relates to less left brain ego, thus increasing my spirit/soul/feminine nature. Cool! We could say that my life has improved. I already felt in love with my life, but there's now a deepened sense of gratitude and humility. I'm looking forward to more good things unfolding – including what is newly mine to explore and do about inspired leadership and inspired, conscious citizenship.

Ideas and tools to help you create your inspired life:

A key message for inspired leadership, or just for all of us to create the world we are meant to enjoy, came from meditating with Divine Mother/Kuan Yin while in the hospital.

Principle No. 1 = There is only ONE. (We are all of the same essence, oneness.)

What is your higher purpose? To be a conduit/channel of Love. So, the most important thing is to Love.

One of my favorite inspirations, St. Teresa of Avila, is often described as similar to the busy, demanding lifestyle of today's achieving women. Biographers wonder how she made time for her quiet contemplation while writing five books and engaging in her travel-intensive reform movement, in the face of opposition or other challenges.

A student asks Teresa of Avila, "How do we know if we are indeed being loving?" Teresa says, "We cannot be sure if we are loving God, although we may have good reason for believing that we are, but we can know quite well if we are loving our neighbors."

So as I check in with myself each day, it's not merely to assess how "spiritual" or effective I was, but how well did I love my neighbor?

Also, our planet and many species really need us to be "good neighbors." Now is the time to reclaim our true destinies, including the responsible care of our only home. We are each a member of a global civilization. We have forgotten who we are when we just let our culture prioritize greed, profit and personal pleasure over the well-being of humanity and our biosphere.

"We can multiply our joy a million times by learning to love and live, not for ourselves, but for a million other people."
Eknath Easwaran, Climbing the Blue Mountain

It is time for the integration of masculine and feminine, spiritual and practical, inner and outer. Even insights flew in about Hillary and Obama during meditation this week. This is an exciting time for our new story, and it's renewing the true purpose of the American Dream. We can revive the soul of America and make a difference for a better world.

When Marianne Williamson was asked, "Who are the good leaders today?", she replied, "We all need to be looking to be better angels of our own selves right now. We don't need to be looking for great people, so much as becoming great people."

Here's the other really important thing: Who loves you, baby? For you to be a source of love and leadership in the world, you need to feel well-loved. So add that to your daily practice for sure. Louise Hay's classic exercise is looking in the mirror and asking, "How do I love you more?" I am filling up with feeling well-held and -loved by sacred feminine energy these days. Use whatever works well for you.

Finally, I must say that I am so excited about how beneficial meditation is to each of us. If I could offer you the best skin cream or vitamin or career booster for your awesome life, I'd now say meditate. This daily practice improves your own fulfillment as well as your leadership and contribution to others.

Daily questions to become an inspired leader:

How am I filling up with feeling loved?
How am I being a source of love for others?
Did I meditate today?

"Those who bring sunshine to the faces of others cannot keep it from themselves."
James M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan

MEDITATION TOOL:

My favorite meditation technique lately comes from Eknath Easwaran, (easwaran.org/page/188). You know how our brains whirl when we attempt to sit in silence? There's a wonderful story of a prince riding an elephant into the town, and the elephant's trunk is wandering all over the place, knocking down the kiosks and making a mess. If the trainer places a stick in the elephant's trunk, this gives it something to hang on to, and the prince is able to ride gracefully with peace. Repeating a passage is like giving your mind a stick to hold onto. The St. Francis prayer is a good starter.

Try to memorize it and just repeat slowly, silently to yourself, with eyes closed. Over time it will become your stick. The first word, "Lord," felt a little old-fashioned or too conservative for me, so I made up an acronym.

LORD: Love Omnipresent Revealing the Divine, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in forgiving that we are set free,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying to small self that we are born to eternal life.

St. Francis of Assisi (modified)

Hope your summer is off to a great start. Mine started with a bang, and I'm looking forward to more fun and interesting adventures of the inner world and beyond.

Be well; be inspired.

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COMING OUT OF THE MIND-BODY-SPIRIT CLOSET WITH HIGH-ACHIEVING WOMEN

Posted on April 24, 2008

I was recently invited to speak to 175 women described as "driven, type-A achievers." They needed new motivation to keep up their high performance in a challenging market. Just before the event, a light-bulb moment caused me to change my agenda and start fresh. I envisioned a private chat over a glass of wine with a few fellow businesswomen. From my 25-year professional journey, what were truly the best ideas and tools for them?

Once upon a time I could have been a poster girl for Women Who Work Too Much and the Companies That Love Them. From the outside looking in, my life was a smashing success. However, my inner spirit began waking me up at 2 a.m., insisting, "Can we talk? ... Is this the best we can do?" I pried my white knuckles off that popular, seductive ladder and embarked on a deep performance review of how I was creating my life. I have experienced slowing down, spiritual growth and reinventing myself for a second act that feels much more like a calling than just a career. Now here's where I really got excited about sharing with my fellow "type A" women. The rest of my story is not "and then Marian moved to an Ashram," or "now Marian does Tarot card readings and makes $12,000 per year." I resumed speed and achievement energy, this time fueled by inner guidance, passion and purpose – as opposed to external climbing, pleasing and proving. I am so grateful to have discovered the huge difference of being inspired rather than driven.

I was delighted to relate to them as a spiritual seeker who is also a business entrepreneur. A meditating, Rumi-reading, body-mind-spirit mystic who is also a six-figure professional in a nice suit. The most valuable secret I could share was blending the best of those worlds. This is how to create your new story of success. There was glee in my sharing "great finds" with them about how to create inspired success vs. conventional success. It's like the difference between dragging a heavy suitcase up the stairs and the flow of wheels on luggage.

I came out of the closet with them about my own spirituality and what really works in actual business life – how surrendering to Spirit has brought in amazing, prosperous opportunities to me over and over (distinct from my previous career, led by left-brain strategic planning and logical follow-through). Wisdom walks in nature often lead to breakthrough business solutions more than trying to think harder while sitting at the computer or stuffed around a conference table. For example, my ego-driven inner pusher wanted to get more speaking kits out there and make more "sales calls" for a Wake Up Inspired Tour. This didn't feel right in my stomach. Rather than hit the phones, I hit the sidewalk for a walk in sunshine. Surrendering sounded like, "If and when I am meant to speak to deliver a message, I am ready. Use me. It's in your hands .…" Also, I jotted down fresh insights about answers to "What is my life purpose?", inspired by a recent meditation retreat. I walked back to my office to discover a new e-mail inviting me to be a keynote speaker, on the subject of life purpose, at a college. Because the universe has a sense of humor, the college town was Bethlehem (Pa.). I laughed out loud while tears of gratitude migrated down my cheeks.

And the women got it. And for me, it felt like an itch got scratched saying it all out loud together.

Consider the advantages for your work as you incorporate more tools from this new IT – or "Inspiration Technology." Example: Imagine being the CEO of your own success with three departments to utilize – Mind, Body, Spirit. The Body and Spirit departments are wondering, "When is she going to put us to work for her – not just for warm and fuzzy, personal indulgence stereotypes, but for real business benefits and growth?" My client Jack assumed he'd have to give up his lunchtime workout "to do a better job" when work became busier. "Whoa! Let's do a cost-benefit analysis of that body fuel before you make that choice," I urged. Jack saw the light in recognizing how his exercise contributed to his clarity, effective decision-making, creativity, ability to have productive relationships and more. Myth: My lunchtime workout is a personal indulgence, and I have to sneak down the back stairs to leave my desk. Truth: My midday exercise is essential, smart fuel for being a high-performing employee, an inspiring leader and a contributor of value to my company's success. I look forward to helping him leverage his "Spirit department" as our adventure continues. Jack happens to be a former Navy commander and now a top corporate executive. As I said at the women's conference, if this stuff is not too "soft" or "personal" for alpha male Commander Jack, it sure shouldn't be given short shrift among resourceful, awakening women.

What do you need to set yourself up to succeed in your important missions? It is time to take a stand, folks. Mind-Body-Spirit fuel is good for business. No apologies or holding back for fear of possibly sounding "woo-woo." I'm done with that. We know better about what is smart energy management. Add to that how much we need more inspired, conscious feminine energy in leadership positions. I want my PINK-reader sisters to have the best possible chance to succeed!

Remember, to not fully employ Body and Spirit would be like managing a business while two-thirds of your workforce sat at their desks, wondering why you didn't ask them to contribute more. I invite you to consider how you could fuel your Body and feed your Spirit more, then enjoy the return on that investment. E-mail me to tell me the one thing you'll do differently with Body and/or Spirit over the next 30 days (or any comments and questions). We'll share support and ideas here in our PINK community chat over virtual glasses of wine, OK?

Be well … be inspired.

To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Inpsiration Blog" in the sujbect line.

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WHEN WOMEN WAKE, MOUNTAINS MOVE
Posted on March 25, 2008

New research has stirred up that old question, "Why can't women break into the boys' club at top levels?" A Catalyst study says that it will take 40 years to catch up with men (if current trends continue). What fascinates me today is a different question: What should we be pushing for? How much do we want to keep measuring success by professional parity with corporate men?

Equal pay and equal access to the corner office are still important and noble missions. I want my sisters out there to succeed in all the ways they wish to. However, after more than 10 years of coaching hundreds of achievers, I have a humbling appreciation for what people really want – a deeper, world-changing experience. A third wave of women's liberation in the 21st century looks beyond climbing that ego-driven ladder and really tunes in to what's inside. There we can do the deep work of listening to our souls, embracing our sacred feminine nature.

In spite of our accumulation of material wealth and technology, we have a poverty of inspiration. We are not tuning in to our authentic selves enough. We recharge cell phones more than we plug into inner wisdom. If this feels like a warm fuzzy, think again. Lack of inspiration is expensive. It's a threat to our personal, career, economic and global health.

Our world needs inspired, conscious feminine energy now more than ever. That takes vitality, heart and courage. This requires self-care and recharging your own spirit first. Woman's first step for humankind could be a pedicure and an afternoon off!

What's new about this?

This is not about the worn-out Life/Work balance topic. Something new is brewing – deep down in individual souls and in the world's collective consciousness. There is a groundswell of bright, achieving women feeling disenchanted, restless or called to make a difference. More professional women are ready to prioritize mind/body/spirit vitality and meaningful work rather than sacrifice these while trying to compete in ways that are out of sync with their true selves. Who wants to keep pushing to break through a glass ceiling if this leads to lifestyles that are hazardous to one's psychological, physical, spiritual and ethical health? Professionals come to me seeking higher purpose much more than higher paychecks.

We are at the threshold of redefining success and reclaiming joy.

Last week I hosted a starter-dough group of leading women to stir up provocative conversation about this. (Among us were heads of women's professional associations and women's leadership programs.) I asked them what women were afraid to say. Responses included speaking up about breast pumping at work and coming out of the closet about spirituality. After two hours it was clear this discussion was just the tip of the iceberg, and we've agreed to continue meeting.

I look forward to sharing more about this and to hearing your comments. I also look forward to posts about fueling your personal inspiration for true success.

If you are reading this, you are a woman of power. I know we can have fun with this. If we join our amazing hearts, brains and hands more, we can stir up more than just conversation. As more of us support each other to create harmony and soul satisfaction within our own lives, we will fuel harmony in the world. Are you in?

Stay tuned.

To comment on this blog, e-mail blog@pinkmagazine.com and enter "Inpsiration Blog" in the sujbect line.

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Wake Up Inspired BlogBy Marian Baker

FINDING A PATH TO CONFIDENCE

Wake Up Inspired Blog
By Marian Baker